Sunday, March 7, 2010

Resistance part 2

Smoking is another addiction. I have to stop this habit. It's getting out of control and could kill me. Well at the very least I have to cut down to the point where it becomes a small part of my life. Like if I only smoke when I drink, which I only do once, maybe twice a week barely, that'll be satisfactory. A 2 pack a week habit costs $1,040 a year. That's enough. I could go on a vacation with that money, Las Vegas, New Orleans, Miami, maybe Europe or the Caribbean if......I didn't smoke. Or if I could save it that would be smarter.

It's time for a blog.

This blog is about resistance. Resistance to temptation. I am currently abstaining from all masturbatory activities. It's been a full week now and I'm going strong. This is very hard to resist because our brains are hardwired for sexual pleasure. Alone or not. This can become an addictive activity especially during a long cold winter when I'm indoors a lot. Most guys can't go more than a week or two, I'll see how far I can go.

A friend of mine years ago went months with out an orgasm and he told me about it. I applauded his diligence. I hope I can have the same longevity as he did. I want to save myself for the next lady in my life whoever she is. I think it's only right that I sacrifice the selfish pleasure of masturbation so that I can give it all to the next girl I have sex with. I hope she is a girl that is worth it and not some slutty drunk girl. I really want to have a connection with her. I'd prefer to be in love but it doesn't always happen that way. We'll see what the mystery of life brings me.

Saturday, March 6, 2010


I had this idea of having a small machine that could stop time so that when I wake up at 7:30 in the morning and feel I need another couple hours of sleep, I could freeze time, get my sleep and then unfreeze it when I wake up naturally. That way I'd be able to start my day getting enough sleep as I want, anytime I want. Now there will be a catch, so I don't abuse this machine. When I freeze time with this small machine, I still age even as the world is frozen still. So if I were to do this too much I would end up aging a lot faster than everyone else. We spend a third of our lives sleeping and if abused too much it could result in me aging nearly a third of my life faster.

So, I'd have to make sure that I only use this machine when I really really need it, and if I use it too much well, I'd grown older as the world around me is suspended in time and in age. I've often wanted this machine. Many days I wish I could get a little more shut eye. Wouldn't it be cool to be able to have this power? I'd use it to re-sync my sleep pattern with the natural world. I often stay up way later than a lot of people, and sleep later. I'm semi-nocturnal. My biological time clock seems to be out of sync with the natural world of 24 hour days and nights. This imaginary machine could correct it whenever I slip out of cycle.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A powerful four letter word


What is love?

By definition it's: having a strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties.

I don't think I've ever been in love before. I've been crazy about girls to the point where I think about them all the time but I've never been in love in that I've had that same reciprocation from the person I love. For me it's always been a one way street. Love hurts they say, yes it does. Maybe if I had been born somewhere else I'd have met the perfect person and I'd have a deep love story to tell. But it hasn't happened.

I'm still relatively young. I have a lot of time.

Being hurt by love is so hard. I understand all those love songs I heard when I was growing up, I can relate to the what the message is. How do you know you're in love? What are the signs? What's the difference between love and madness?

I've always hid my love from others. I never even told my own mother that I love her until recently. She could have died without ever hearing it from me. That's fucked up. I guess deep down I'm very sensitive. It's hard for me to love openly. I fear getting hurt just like everyone else. This can manifest itself into the fear of love itself. I don't want to fear love, I want to embrace it. Love it perhaps the greatest ecstasy that a human being can ever experience.

My adult life has been devoid of most love. I've been alone the majority of the time. I've gotten cool with it, but that's not safe. To learn to live without love can be a scary scenario. Love should be something we need. Imagine a world without it and you will shiver in your seat.

Maybe I will take a nap and dream about love. Dream about the one I love who doesn't care much for me. In my dream we're deeply in love and it is so strong we are able to look past our imperfections and shortcomings. That's real love. Love is when a man can cry in the shoulders of his woman and she embraces him so that he knows it is alright and he doesn't need to feel any shame. Love is when a man can look past his woman's imperfections and do whatever it takes to make her feel special and devote himself to her 100 percent. Love is giving her what she wants when she feel like it. Love means abstaining from what she doesn't want you to do because you know it bothers her. Love means cheering her up when she's sad because you want so bad to see her happy. Love is having a better day just knowing that she loves you back. Love is being depressed when you are away from her.

Love is a standard that we all fall short of. Lovers have their fights and disagreements. Lovers sometimes hate each other. Love is intermittent and rarely lasts a lifetime. Love thing I don't have right now.

The New 10 Christopher Hitchens

How might a Decalogue look if it was written for the 21st century? Christopher Hitchens wrote a version of the 10 commandments for the 21st century:

1. Do not condemn people of the basis of their ethnicity or color

2. Do not even think about using people as private property, or as owned or as slaves

3. Despise those who use violence or the threat of it in a sexual relationship

4. Hide your face and weep if you dare to harm a child

5. Do not condemn people for their inborn nature

6. Be aware that you too are an animal and dependent of the web of nature; try to think an act accordingly

7. Do not imagine that you can escape judgment if you can rob people with a false prospectus rather than with a knife

8. Turn off that fucking cell phone

9. Denounce all jihadists and crusaders for what they are: psychopathic criminals with ugly delusions and terrible sexual repressions

10. Be willing to renounce any God or any faith if any holy commandments should contradict any of the above

Spring will be here

Oh spring will be here. Soon enough.

But what if there is a God....?

I will begin a series on the idea of God existing and what that would mean. All the different kinds of Gods, the traditional God of the monotheistic faiths, deist versions of God, and the new age "God" that can be anything.

This is an important topic. Today in parts of the world millions of people still live under theocracies were if they practice another religion or no religion, they can be persecuted. Today we still have people being executed for offenses to God.

In the U.S. millions of people go about their day, with out every thinking about God or religion. That's a great thing. But religious people will always try to convert others and fight for power to have their way in government and there needs to be a voice of rationality to keep that at bay.

But what if there is a God...? is about what you'd have to believe if there was indeed a God.


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