Monday, December 28, 2009

So tired..

I have so much trouble getting up in the morning, the last thing I want to do is get about of bed. Why don't I jump out of bed like some people? They can just jump out of bed and attack their day, and stay motivated all day long. I can't do that. I have no motivation for live. Some people can get motivated by life itself, that's it, just life. I need something in my day, something that I really like doing or having, to get me motivated. I can't get motivated about life on just a regular work day.

Maybe I need God to get me motivated. I thought about that and I know I can't go down that road. I am cursed with this consciousness, forcing me to think about things. I need to start getting motivated. I was thinking, maybe I need a life threatening experience to motivate me? Maybe I need to come close to death or suffer some big tragedy to make me realize what I have? I don't believe in karma or any of that crap. I believe shit just happens. So I don't think that God or the universe will put me through some tragedy to teach me a lesson. We should all try to learn from our life experiences for the better. Absolutely. I think I can learn to appreciate my life and all I have with out tragedy. It will need work though.

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