Thursday, July 21, 2011

Summer 2011


We are in the midst of a sweltering typically New York City heat wave. Temperatures are in the high 90s and the humidity is not much lower. So far summer has been nothing but work. Last weekend I slept in and didn't even go out. I was just too damn tired. I realize now what a stupid decision that was. Summer will be over before I know it, and I should spend every free day I have out enjoying life and the outdoors even if it is by myself.

Work is still sucking my life and time away. I have money now so I can't complain, but it seems that I have no time to spend it. It's such a catch 22: last summer I was unemployed and had little money, but I had all the time in the world to hang out and enjoy my life. This summer I have plenty of spending money but I'm working like a dog, and it seems like I have no time to spend it, let alone enjoy it.

Weekends seem to disappear over night. Before I know it, it's Monday morning and time to go to work. I even have to work on the weekend sometimes. It is such a horrible wager to make. Be broke, or be busy all the time.

I'm going to Washington D.C. in the end of August, I'll take a flight over to Oregon after that. Something to look forward to but not much. I need to get out more, but my job pretty much ruins the possibility of doing anything on the weekday. I remember back when I used to be a security guard and I worked 40 hours a week. This was the summer of 2005. I remember that summer as been a particularly fun summer mostly because I discovered this bar called Lit in the East Village and it was a particularly good spot for easy hook ups. But I can't remember what I did on work nights. I assume I mostly went home, I think a few nights I went out or hung out in friend's houses. I smoked a lot of pot back then so memory is a bit hazy.

It's mid-summer and so far the fun has yet to begun.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I Want My Life Back


At 6:30 AM I burst awake to the sounds of my screeching alarm clock. I silence it with a whack from from my sleeping hand. When I finally get up, I am barely able to scarf down a quick bowl of cereal. A shower gets me a little close to actually being awake. One last look in the mirror before I head out to a 12 hour work day. By the time I get home it will be dark, even for this time of the year, and I will have returned to this zombie-like state.

Now all day at work I sit in a little cubicle, with a little head set staring at a dual-monitor computer for 12 hours. Case after case, the work load never ends. A glance out the window on a beautiful May day seeing the sail boats on the harbor being guided by people having fun, makes me realize what I am missing: My Life.

What I really regret is not going out and having more fun outdoors when I was unemployed last summer. I had so much free time, but what did I do? I spent most of it on the internet, at home with the shades pulled down. Picturesque summer days passed by me, and I missed them all. Now I long for the amount of time I can have. The weekends are not enough.

I've been in this situation before. I've known what its like to work a lot. I don't like it. I don't like working period. I like to party but I don't like to be broke. What can a person do in this situation? Summer is here (almost) and that means that this is the time to make things happen.

FML

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Sexual Politics


There goes that pesky sex drive again, making me do things I don't want to do. Making me bother that girl who just wants to be left alone. Making me go out and humiliate myself when I'd rather just stay in my comfort zone. I wish I could just turn it off, like a switch, so that I could concentrate on other things more productive. In truth, our sex drives have a purpose: they are what motivate us to procreate and this is of course the driving force of the continuum of all species.

I'm always amazed at how women can be sort of asexual in a way in terms of not being motivated by sex to do almost everything, as men mostly are. Then, they can suddenly become sexual creatures when they are with the right person in the right circumstance. It is a very peculiar outcome of thousands of years of human evolution. The hunter and gatherers that we were have conditioned women to attach emotional bonds with those men who could provide the most food and resources. They didn't think as much with their eyes and try to sleep with the first willing participant as the hunters did, and so they attached an emotional bond with a man first and then they become ferocious sexual beasts.

This is how things were with a girl I once dated. She had such an emotional bond with me that I excited her sexually by almost everything I did. Had I met her on the street or perhaps in a bar she might not have even been willing to engage in a conversation with me, let alone sleep with me. The same woman who would might not look at you twice, could suddenly become intensely sexual attracted to you if you struck the right emotional chords with her through the right situation. This has frustrated men since the beginning of time, who merely wanted to spread their seed without any emotional baggage.

Meeting women in bars has its ups and downs. On the one hand you can get laid really fast and even jump-start head first into a relationship in the fast track. These usually never last longer than a month or two. On the other hand you must deal with rejection from very beautiful and highly sexualized women who just want to go out for a drink and have a good time and who are not there to meet anyone. As frustrating as it is, the possibility of success far out weighs any fear of failure. That's evolution in a nutshell.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The City Part II


I've been totally addicted to Google Earth for the past year or so. It is one of the best tools for viewing 3 dimensional aerial angles of cityscapes. For New York, almost all of Manhattan is represented in 3D. This allows you to fly through the city as if you were Superman, or Batman over and through the skyscrapers. It's the coolest thing ever.

Since last summer, I have learned to make 3D building models that can be uploaded to Google Earth. It took a while to learn, but I got the hang of it. So far, I have uploaded over 200 models. My account name is "KingofQueenz". My models mostly cover the Queens area, but I have numerous models in the Bronx, and Brooklyn. I did the entire Queens West development. I've done most of the buildings in Long Island City, Forest Hills, Woodside, and Coney Island. Making 3D building models is my obsession. I'd like to have every building in the world represented on Google Earth in 3D. I know of coarse this is an arduous task for one person, but at least I can try to get as many models up in my geographic area.

My Queens West development 3D models:



My models are not the best. I usually don't put insane amounts of details in them. I'd rather make 10 decent models in one week than spend a week to make one perfect model. Some other sketchup artists have uploaded some amazing 3D models that have exquisite detail.

These two models are the Schaefer Landing North and South Towers. They are a new luxury highrise apartment complex in Williamsburg. I'm very proud of these models. There is a sense of great satisfaction when I complete a nice 3D models.

I've been spending way to much time on Google Earth and Google Sketchup, the free program used to make the 3D models.I can literally spend 8 hours straight making models, holding in my piss and not eating. This is real life addiction. But who ever heard of someone addicted to Google Earth?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The City


For some reason I am still obsessed with New York City. I have this romanticized notion of New York, similar to Woody Allen's character in Manhattan. To me, New York is Metropolis and Gotham all in one. It has been leaving its impression on millions and millions for hundreds of years.

I've dated many girls who have moved here from small towns and suburbs. I love that cliche of the small town girl who dreams of life in the big city. She finally realizes her dreams and is overwhelmed by all its audacity. In the U.S. we have this anti urban attitude. We put this emphasis on small towns and suburbs, the quintessential American dream of a house on a quiet suburban street. We've neglected our cities unlike many other countries who celebrated them. New York remained for so long seen as an eyesore in the fold of the American landscape. Americans hated it, mocked it, were afraid to go to it. They called it a cesspool or urban decay. And New York lost population for the 50 years as did virtually every other large American city. Only recently has the trend reversed.

For me growing up in New York, there was never a dream of a house in the suburbs. I liked my high rise apartment with the view of the skyline out my window. Why would I ever want to replace that with a bunch of suburban houses and trees? The city to me was a place of excitement. It has life and energy. Taking the train into Manhattan and emerging out into a "Metropolis" of sorts gave me the impression of what Clark Kent might have felt when he left Smallville, although not quite as dramatic. Suddenly you are in a giant city and you realize how small your are in this world. This allure has attracted many a small town folk, and I think I'd be one of them if I had such a past.

What does New York represent to me? It represents an American dream, American ingenuity, American diligence. Not long after New York was founded (then of coarse New Amsterdam), there was a great migration to move out west where people settled in mostly in small, sparsely situated towns. This gave birth to the rural lifestyle that is so characteristic of early American life. This rural, small town lifestyle somehow became the "real" America, that so many patriots and politicians try to use as their badge of American authenticity. The big cities back east were already becoming over populated cesspools of filth, disease and of coarse, immigrants. This can't be the "real" America. No "real" Americans live in a log cabin, in a tiny town, they know their neighbors and go to church on Sunday.

So there I be, in the big city. You might see me riding the subway, or stretching my neck to see the top of a new skyscraper. You might see me jaded and blue, or you might just be lucky enough to see me crack a smile.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Thinker


As the Sun sets over the Secular Metropolis, the thinker begins his blog, eyes glued to the screen of his laptop, fingers sweaty from their constant contact with the keyboard. What is on his mind that is so important to write about? It is his obsession with New York? His passion for Atheism? His analysis of social dynamics? His love of science? Maybe all of the above.

I love writing in the third person. It requires a bit more thinking when writing about yourself.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Manhattan Memories


Back in the 1990s when I was a fledgling teenager, my father used to live on east 15th street in Manhattan. Since my parents had divorced, I'd go and visit him sometimes on the weekends. He lived in this tiny railroad apartment in a prewar, 6 story walk up that was so old and rickety, the floors and walls were literally caved in. There was this sense that the whole building could collapse at any moment. There was never any sun light that shined through the windows because there was another building about 6 feet away. This meant you had to keep the lights on even in the middle of the day. Depressing at this may sound, what made up for it was the fact that right outside was downtown Manhattan.

My father had close friend who had two sons a little younger than me. He had an Italian wife and they lived in Stuyvesant Town just a few blocks away. They were a typical Manhattan family, politically liberal and cultured, although they were not quite yuppies. This was the mid 1990s, back when a working class blue collar family could afford to live in Manhattan. We would all get together, sometimes accompanied with my dad's girlfriend, and go do things in the city. We'd go to the South Street Sea Port, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, Central Park, Museums. Sometimes we'd just walk around downtown and take in outdoor street festivals and shows. We'd always eat out at restaurants. They were good times. There was always an exciting cultural event that was going on. After all, this was Manahattan, and rarely ever a let down.

I have few pictures from that era; this was the days before digital cameras. I do have memories however. There were these neighborhood kids several years older than me who we knew that would hang out on the stoops of the apartments. They were Latino, new-yoricans, most likely. Downtown kids, before it became so fashionable. We went to Katz Deli over on Houston street, and my dad, always the outgoing one, would joke about the orgasm scene from the movie When Harry Met Sally that was filmed there. We'd go to Greenwich Village when it was still very bohemian and absorb the culture. I think one time we even went during the gay pride week or parade and my dad's Irish girlfriend pointed out a bald headed man in full drag. "Only in New York" she commented. We all laughed.

I was along for the ride. My dad would pick me up in Queens and drive me to the city. We did an awful lot of driving around the city back then come to think of it. My dad after all was a limousine driver. That Lincoln Town Car I remember took us so many miles.

We'd all go out to Veniero's on 11th street and indulge in the Italian pastries while making a lot of noise. We'd walk out into the hot summer night air feeling a little relieved, still cold from the air conditioning. The hustle and bustle of the city providing the ambiance around us. Summer nights in the city when you're a teenager, so many unforgettable memories.

And it was all so secular. Religion was never a part of our adventures on the town. There was never any church or inculcation into any faith. We seemed like a bunch of secular humanists/cosmopolitan New Yorkers. There was a slight Buddhist/Hindu element from my dad's side, but never anything actual meditation or chanting. It was more like the occasional wishing to an unknown energy that you'd strike it rich. It was more like the self-serving god than anything real, whether tangible or otherwise. The secular element made it that so much better. There was no religion trying to make me feel guilty or for me to rebel against. There were no forced rituals or scriptural memorization. Religion simply just wasn't there. Thank god for that.

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