Thursday, July 21, 2011

Summer 2011


We are in the midst of a sweltering typically New York City heat wave. Temperatures are in the high 90s and the humidity is not much lower. So far summer has been nothing but work. Last weekend I slept in and didn't even go out. I was just too damn tired. I realize now what a stupid decision that was. Summer will be over before I know it, and I should spend every free day I have out enjoying life and the outdoors even if it is by myself.

Work is still sucking my life and time away. I have money now so I can't complain, but it seems that I have no time to spend it. It's such a catch 22: last summer I was unemployed and had little money, but I had all the time in the world to hang out and enjoy my life. This summer I have plenty of spending money but I'm working like a dog, and it seems like I have no time to spend it, let alone enjoy it.

Weekends seem to disappear over night. Before I know it, it's Monday morning and time to go to work. I even have to work on the weekend sometimes. It is such a horrible wager to make. Be broke, or be busy all the time.

I'm going to Washington D.C. in the end of August, I'll take a flight over to Oregon after that. Something to look forward to but not much. I need to get out more, but my job pretty much ruins the possibility of doing anything on the weekday. I remember back when I used to be a security guard and I worked 40 hours a week. This was the summer of 2005. I remember that summer as been a particularly fun summer mostly because I discovered this bar called Lit in the East Village and it was a particularly good spot for easy hook ups. But I can't remember what I did on work nights. I assume I mostly went home, I think a few nights I went out or hung out in friend's houses. I smoked a lot of pot back then so memory is a bit hazy.

It's mid-summer and so far the fun has yet to begun.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

I Want My Life Back


At 6:30 AM I burst awake to the sounds of my screeching alarm clock. I silence it with a whack from from my sleeping hand. When I finally get up, I am barely able to scarf down a quick bowl of cereal. A shower gets me a little close to actually being awake. One last look in the mirror before I head out to a 12 hour work day. By the time I get home it will be dark, even for this time of the year, and I will have returned to this zombie-like state.

Now all day at work I sit in a little cubicle, with a little head set staring at a dual-monitor computer for 12 hours. Case after case, the work load never ends. A glance out the window on a beautiful May day seeing the sail boats on the harbor being guided by people having fun, makes me realize what I am missing: My Life.

What I really regret is not going out and having more fun outdoors when I was unemployed last summer. I had so much free time, but what did I do? I spent most of it on the internet, at home with the shades pulled down. Picturesque summer days passed by me, and I missed them all. Now I long for the amount of time I can have. The weekends are not enough.

I've been in this situation before. I've known what its like to work a lot. I don't like it. I don't like working period. I like to party but I don't like to be broke. What can a person do in this situation? Summer is here (almost) and that means that this is the time to make things happen.

FML

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Sexual Politics


There goes that pesky sex drive again, making me do things I don't want to do. Making me bother that girl who just wants to be left alone. Making me go out and humiliate myself when I'd rather just stay in my comfort zone. I wish I could just turn it off, like a switch, so that I could concentrate on other things more productive. In truth, our sex drives have a purpose: they are what motivate us to procreate and this is of course the driving force of the continuum of all species.

I'm always amazed at how women can be sort of asexual in a way in terms of not being motivated by sex to do almost everything, as men mostly are. Then, they can suddenly become sexual creatures when they are with the right person in the right circumstance. It is a very peculiar outcome of thousands of years of human evolution. The hunter and gatherers that we were have conditioned women to attach emotional bonds with those men who could provide the most food and resources. They didn't think as much with their eyes and try to sleep with the first willing participant as the hunters did, and so they attached an emotional bond with a man first and then they become ferocious sexual beasts.

This is how things were with a girl I once dated. She had such an emotional bond with me that I excited her sexually by almost everything I did. Had I met her on the street or perhaps in a bar she might not have even been willing to engage in a conversation with me, let alone sleep with me. The same woman who would might not look at you twice, could suddenly become intensely sexual attracted to you if you struck the right emotional chords with her through the right situation. This has frustrated men since the beginning of time, who merely wanted to spread their seed without any emotional baggage.

Meeting women in bars has its ups and downs. On the one hand you can get laid really fast and even jump-start head first into a relationship in the fast track. These usually never last longer than a month or two. On the other hand you must deal with rejection from very beautiful and highly sexualized women who just want to go out for a drink and have a good time and who are not there to meet anyone. As frustrating as it is, the possibility of success far out weighs any fear of failure. That's evolution in a nutshell.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The City Part II


I've been totally addicted to Google Earth for the past year or so. It is one of the best tools for viewing 3 dimensional aerial angles of cityscapes. For New York, almost all of Manhattan is represented in 3D. This allows you to fly through the city as if you were Superman, or Batman over and through the skyscrapers. It's the coolest thing ever.

Since last summer, I have learned to make 3D building models that can be uploaded to Google Earth. It took a while to learn, but I got the hang of it. So far, I have uploaded over 200 models. My account name is "KingofQueenz". My models mostly cover the Queens area, but I have numerous models in the Bronx, and Brooklyn. I did the entire Queens West development. I've done most of the buildings in Long Island City, Forest Hills, Woodside, and Coney Island. Making 3D building models is my obsession. I'd like to have every building in the world represented on Google Earth in 3D. I know of coarse this is an arduous task for one person, but at least I can try to get as many models up in my geographic area.

My Queens West development 3D models:



My models are not the best. I usually don't put insane amounts of details in them. I'd rather make 10 decent models in one week than spend a week to make one perfect model. Some other sketchup artists have uploaded some amazing 3D models that have exquisite detail.

These two models are the Schaefer Landing North and South Towers. They are a new luxury highrise apartment complex in Williamsburg. I'm very proud of these models. There is a sense of great satisfaction when I complete a nice 3D models.

I've been spending way to much time on Google Earth and Google Sketchup, the free program used to make the 3D models.I can literally spend 8 hours straight making models, holding in my piss and not eating. This is real life addiction. But who ever heard of someone addicted to Google Earth?

Saturday, April 16, 2011

The City


For some reason I am still obsessed with New York City. I have this romanticized notion of New York, similar to Woody Allen's character in Manhattan. To me, New York is Metropolis and Gotham all in one. It has been leaving its impression on millions and millions for hundreds of years.

I've dated many girls who have moved here from small towns and suburbs. I love that cliche of the small town girl who dreams of life in the big city. She finally realizes her dreams and is overwhelmed by all its audacity. In the U.S. we have this anti urban attitude. We put this emphasis on small towns and suburbs, the quintessential American dream of a house on a quiet suburban street. We've neglected our cities unlike many other countries who celebrated them. New York remained for so long seen as an eyesore in the fold of the American landscape. Americans hated it, mocked it, were afraid to go to it. They called it a cesspool or urban decay. And New York lost population for the 50 years as did virtually every other large American city. Only recently has the trend reversed.

For me growing up in New York, there was never a dream of a house in the suburbs. I liked my high rise apartment with the view of the skyline out my window. Why would I ever want to replace that with a bunch of suburban houses and trees? The city to me was a place of excitement. It has life and energy. Taking the train into Manhattan and emerging out into a "Metropolis" of sorts gave me the impression of what Clark Kent might have felt when he left Smallville, although not quite as dramatic. Suddenly you are in a giant city and you realize how small your are in this world. This allure has attracted many a small town folk, and I think I'd be one of them if I had such a past.

What does New York represent to me? It represents an American dream, American ingenuity, American diligence. Not long after New York was founded (then of coarse New Amsterdam), there was a great migration to move out west where people settled in mostly in small, sparsely situated towns. This gave birth to the rural lifestyle that is so characteristic of early American life. This rural, small town lifestyle somehow became the "real" America, that so many patriots and politicians try to use as their badge of American authenticity. The big cities back east were already becoming over populated cesspools of filth, disease and of coarse, immigrants. This can't be the "real" America. No "real" Americans live in a log cabin, in a tiny town, they know their neighbors and go to church on Sunday.

So there I be, in the big city. You might see me riding the subway, or stretching my neck to see the top of a new skyscraper. You might see me jaded and blue, or you might just be lucky enough to see me crack a smile.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Thinker


As the Sun sets over the Secular Metropolis, the thinker begins his blog, eyes glued to the screen of his laptop, fingers sweaty from their constant contact with the keyboard. What is on his mind that is so important to write about? It is his obsession with New York? His passion for Atheism? His analysis of social dynamics? His love of science? Maybe all of the above.

I love writing in the third person. It requires a bit more thinking when writing about yourself.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Manhattan Memories


Back in the 1990s when I was a fledgling teenager, my father used to live on east 15th street in Manhattan. Since my parents had divorced, I'd go and visit him sometimes on the weekends. He lived in this tiny railroad apartment in a prewar, 6 story walk up that was so old and rickety, the floors and walls were literally caved in. There was this sense that the whole building could collapse at any moment. There was never any sun light that shined through the windows because there was another building about 6 feet away. This meant you had to keep the lights on even in the middle of the day. Depressing at this may sound, what made up for it was the fact that right outside was downtown Manhattan.

My father had close friend who had two sons a little younger than me. He had an Italian wife and they lived in Stuyvesant Town just a few blocks away. They were a typical Manhattan family, politically liberal and cultured, although they were not quite yuppies. This was the mid 1990s, back when a working class blue collar family could afford to live in Manhattan. We would all get together, sometimes accompanied with my dad's girlfriend, and go do things in the city. We'd go to the South Street Sea Port, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, Central Park, Museums. Sometimes we'd just walk around downtown and take in outdoor street festivals and shows. We'd always eat out at restaurants. They were good times. There was always an exciting cultural event that was going on. After all, this was Manahattan, and rarely ever a let down.

I have few pictures from that era; this was the days before digital cameras. I do have memories however. There were these neighborhood kids several years older than me who we knew that would hang out on the stoops of the apartments. They were Latino, new-yoricans, most likely. Downtown kids, before it became so fashionable. We went to Katz Deli over on Houston street, and my dad, always the outgoing one, would joke about the orgasm scene from the movie When Harry Met Sally that was filmed there. We'd go to Greenwich Village when it was still very bohemian and absorb the culture. I think one time we even went during the gay pride week or parade and my dad's Irish girlfriend pointed out a bald headed man in full drag. "Only in New York" she commented. We all laughed.

I was along for the ride. My dad would pick me up in Queens and drive me to the city. We did an awful lot of driving around the city back then come to think of it. My dad after all was a limousine driver. That Lincoln Town Car I remember took us so many miles.

We'd all go out to Veniero's on 11th street and indulge in the Italian pastries while making a lot of noise. We'd walk out into the hot summer night air feeling a little relieved, still cold from the air conditioning. The hustle and bustle of the city providing the ambiance around us. Summer nights in the city when you're a teenager, so many unforgettable memories.

And it was all so secular. Religion was never a part of our adventures on the town. There was never any church or inculcation into any faith. We seemed like a bunch of secular humanists/cosmopolitan New Yorkers. There was a slight Buddhist/Hindu element from my dad's side, but never anything actual meditation or chanting. It was more like the occasional wishing to an unknown energy that you'd strike it rich. It was more like the self-serving god than anything real, whether tangible or otherwise. The secular element made it that so much better. There was no religion trying to make me feel guilty or for me to rebel against. There were no forced rituals or scriptural memorization. Religion simply just wasn't there. Thank god for that.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Dead of Winter


I haven't been able to write any good posts lately. Not much is going on in my life. All I've been doing is going to work and then coming home pretty much. I watch the occasional Hitchens video on YouTube, and listen to the Real Time With Bill Maher podcast on iTunes. Religion still intrigues me and my obsession with the Secular Metropolis. Other than that, work takes precedence over all things fun and endearing. I don't mind staying home on a freezing night and spending time on work related jobs, or creating 3D GoogleEarth sketchups. When the weather gets nice and warm, as it is about to do in a few weeks, I'm going to start minding.

I plan on doing more outdoor things this Summer. Bike rides, camping, bars yes, and outdoor music festivals. Oh man I can't wait for Summer. I'm planing on going down to Washington D.C. for a weekend to visit an old friend. That should be cool. I'd love to properly check out our nation's capitol.

So there is much to look forward to. I need another vacation badly, let me tell you. And all I have to do is wait.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Going to Brooklyn: A Bike Ride


One morning last Summer I got up really early and took a bike ride down to the Brooklyn promenade. It was a beautiful sunny day in August. Here are my pictures:

The industrial area on the Queens/Brooklyn border has a sense of desolate grace to it:


This is an old rickety bridge that spans Newtown Creek:



Headed to Brooklyn:


Downtown Brooklyn rising. New highrise apartments:



Downtown Brooklyn Baby:



The Oro Condominium:



DUMBO:





The East foot of the Manhattan Bridge:


The Lower East Side "Skyline" as seen from Brooklyn:


Standard Lower Manhattan Skyline Shot:


The New Beekman Tower topped out and almost ready for its close up:


The New Brooklyn Park Under Construction:


And Now for Some Brooklyn Heights, One of the most beautiful neighborhoods in New York:


One of the many hidden treasures tucked away on the quiet, shaded streets of Brooklyn Heights:




You can get a hickey on Love Lane:

Downtown Brooklyn is brown stone country:



On my way back I pass through South Williamsburg, the Dominican part:


McCarren Park on a beautiful August day. I stopped by to work out in the outdoor exorcise area, and even took my shirt off.


Midtown Skyline from the Greenpoint Avenue Bridge:


That's all folks!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

New York: A Love/Hate Relationship


I'm going crazy because of work. I am working 11 hour days and getting barely half of that in sleep every night. Everyday I commute into the city, packed into to a train like a Sardine. I take an elevator up to the 23rd floor. The view from up there isn't as spectacular as you would think. Then I do the same routine on the way back home.

I know that in New York you have to work hard. I love this city but the amount of time you have to work is draining me on my life and energy. I almost long for a slower paced, hippie retreat in the middle of nowhere.

But, I still love this city. I still love its energy. Maybe the reason I have no energy is because the city is absorbing all of mine? I was watching some old newsreels about New York. They're fun to watch. Newsreels were shown in movie theaters during the intermission. It's interesting to watch these old newsreels to see how things were way back when.

In one called City of Magic from 1956, you can hear the narrator's enthusiasm for the big apple. I too carry that enthusiasm for New York tucked under my jaded expression. I know if I move away, I will get that longing for New York that I've had on extended trips away. New York was the biggest city in the world at that time, an unrivaled metropolis. It had to tallest building in the world, the Empire State Building. The city must have exhilarated so many imaginations and thrilled so many hearts back then, as it still does today.



Transportation in New York back in the 1950s:



Sunday, January 30, 2011

Urbanology


I am still obsessed with cities for some reason. Being that I live in one of the greatest, I love to compare it to others. One new sites I found allows you to take panoramic "virtual tours" from aerial shots of different point over New York City and other cities around the world. Check it out, it's pretty fun to play with if you're into seeing the city from above.

http://www.pixelcase.com.au/

http://www.pixelcase.com.au/vr/2009/newyork/

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Saturday Morning Hangover Post


In the middle of a deep Winter freeze, I woke up with a Vodka hangover. They're different from other hard liquor hangovers. I can feel the poison still moving through my veins. I drink water to dilute it from my body. It slowly works. I want to go back to bed and sleep for another 2 hours. Outside, the snow makes this bright white glare that forces you to squint. I've always hated bright light. There was another party last night. This one can be thrown into the dust bin of uneventful memories. I've been working so much and so hard that it seems I've forgotten how to party and let loose and have a good time. Work always stresses me out. I have nothing in common with my coworkers. This stresses me out big time. I'm at the wrong job. But, I have a job. I could be struggling now. Should I be thankful, or should I go back to bed?

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Memories.....


I've had some flashbacks of years past recently. Being a bit younger and a bit more fresh-faced while amongst a crowd of friends that have long since left my life. I used to have friends that lived in my building whose apartments I'd go over to hang out. We used to play video games and watch Ducktales after school. There was an abandon lot near a hill we called Dead Man's Hill. It was our little hangout spot. It was like exploring a little jungle to us kids, filled with danger and surprise. One time, me and my best friend made it to the abandoned gas station there and saw these kids throwing rocks at the door. They said someone was in there and we just watched them throw more rocks and hurl insults. They left and eventually we saw a crazy homeless man come out. He mistook us for the perpetrators who were throwing rocks at him and he smashed me and my friend in the head with a big rock. This resulted in a police report and a brain scan at a local hospital. Other times were more pleasant. There was a big rope that hung from a tree over a ditch that you could swing on like Tarzan. There was another ditch filled with garbage that we lit on fire many times. One time the fire got particularly big and the fire department came. It was overgrown with weeds in the summer making it a perfect for playing manhunt. It's sad that I have no pictures from this time in my life. Eventually it became an apartment building and parking lot.

Then there was my foray into metal culture in High school. There's something about heavy metal culture. Metals-heads will wear the same shit everyday. They will utter the word dude as often as possible. New York metal-heads throw in a bit of hip hop slang in it too. It's a culture that is more preserved and less in touch with the times. Hip hop culture changes by the minute, but a metal-head from '89 might look exactly like a metal-head from '98. They were working class kids mostly from Astoria. Greek, Italian, Irish, Eastern European. Music was always a topic of discussion, which made me insecure since when I first started hanging with them, I didn't know much about metal. You could be publicly tested at any moment of your heavy metal knowledge. There was a game we played where we'd form a circle and we'd have to name a metal band based on the alphabet starting from A. When you couldn't name one you were out. Only the most hardcore and knowledgeable metal would be left standing. There was a strict feeling of conformity I remember. That's why high school is never a good time for most. I didn't dress like a metal head, and didn't know shit about metal. My first jump into anything rock at all was believe-it-or-not Marilyn Manson. Then it was Nine Inch nails. I got into Industrial Metal first since I guess it's an easier transition from Hip Hop. Then I got into classic rock and only just barely got into the Thrash and Death Metal.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Another Year Over, A New One Just Begun

So 2011 rang in as I downed my 4th White Russian. This year crept up on me like an unsightly nose hair does. Time really does seem to speed up as you get older. So what can I say about 2010? Last year was a mixed bag really. It had its ups and downs. My vacation to Asia was probably the highlight of the year. Summer 2010 was actually pretty awesome come to think of it in retrospect. My new extremely demanding job and the stress that goes along with it is probably one of the low points.

I've made no resolutions, and have not really thought much about any hopes or desires for 2011. I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Friday, December 24, 2010

It's Christ-mass time


What does Christmas time mean to an atheist? This is the time of the year when we are suppose to spend time with the family and be a little bit more generous. What's wrong with that you ask? Nothing. Nothing at all. Now of course I oppose the supernatural aspects of Christmas: Santa Claus, reindeer, Elves. We can still have the tradition, with out the supernatural elements. Like I said before, Halloween started out as a pagan tradition of dressing up in costumes to scare away evil spirits. We still dress up, but no one does it to scare away spirits anymore. So we can still keep certain traditions if they make sense, or if they are fun and pleasant. Halloween is fun. It allows adults to dress up and act like a kid for a day, or step out of their mundane existence and be a character they fantasize about.

Why not continue the celebration of Christmas? Let's be honest, Christmas in America today is all about consumption and business anyway. Putting a tree in your house was a pagan Scandinavian tradition, and not Christian. The supposed birthday of Jesus, December 25th, is in dispute. There is a plausible case that it might have been a Roman god's birthday that Christians have adopted into their tradition. In anyway, having a holiday that allows you to spend time with the family, especially when you aren't a family-type person like me, is something perhaps needed. Giving a little more is needed as well. Traditions can evolve and they can be purged of all of their supernatural elements, like the way Halloween has for so long.

So I'm not one of those atheists who wages the war on Christmas. Because when you really think of it, Christmas is all about money and consumption, neither of which are religious at all.

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