Thursday, December 31, 2009

So Long 2000s

It's the last day of the year and the last day of the decade. It goes by so fast, as you get older. It was a fun decade. I became a man this decade. 2000 does seem so long ago, yet at the same time not as long as 10 years should be.

At the stroke of midnight 2000 I was atop my former best friend's apartment just a few blocks from where I am now. I'm suppose to go to a friends house in an hour. New Year's and Christmas always get built up all year long and they usually never live up to their reputations. I did have more fun this year as I planned through my New Year's resolution last year. I spent the last week with my mom who I only see about twice a year, it was the same as usual.

I look back at past New Year's, last year I was waiting a flight back to New York. I like the idea of spending some time in a house or apartment and getting drunk and high and partying and bringing in the new year with the ones closest to you, instead of a bunch of strangers. I overcame some of my demons this decade and hopefully I will continue to overcome the things that hold me down.

Happy New Year's to all. Peace and Abundance.

Monday, December 28, 2009

So tired..

I have so much trouble getting up in the morning, the last thing I want to do is get about of bed. Why don't I jump out of bed like some people? They can just jump out of bed and attack their day, and stay motivated all day long. I can't do that. I have no motivation for live. Some people can get motivated by life itself, that's it, just life. I need something in my day, something that I really like doing or having, to get me motivated. I can't get motivated about life on just a regular work day.

Maybe I need God to get me motivated. I thought about that and I know I can't go down that road. I am cursed with this consciousness, forcing me to think about things. I need to start getting motivated. I was thinking, maybe I need a life threatening experience to motivate me? Maybe I need to come close to death or suffer some big tragedy to make me realize what I have? I don't believe in karma or any of that crap. I believe shit just happens. So I don't think that God or the universe will put me through some tragedy to teach me a lesson. We should all try to learn from our life experiences for the better. Absolutely. I think I can learn to appreciate my life and all I have with out tragedy. It will need work though.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Hip Hop Morality

Morality is an important topic. I mean let's be honest, it's nothing less than how we ought to live. Growing up in the inner city in the 1990s I grew up surrounded by hip hop culture and now that I'm older I can look back and see how incredibly ignorant many of its principles and morals are. I've written about this before and want to hit it from a different angle, slightly.

Let's look at hip hop's morals and break them down. Generalizing a bit, in hip hop culture stealing what you don't have or can't afford is alright, in fact its recommended. Women are all either bitches or hoes, depending on their attitude or number of sex partners, and they are to be used like pieces of meat and treated like shit. It's ok to drop out of school and sell drugs, because "real niggas" don't go to school, come on. It's perfectly fine to use violence as a way to solve just about every problem, even murder. "Real men" get women pregnant and move on to others.

Now when you have a culture that raises generations of young people with these values it is no wonder that blacks and hispanics drop out of school at the highest rates and end up in jail the highest rates. I am by no means blaming hip hop or its greater culture for the problems of minorities, as these problems existed for many years before anyone set up two turntables and a microphone. But what hip hop culture did was it adopted the worst aspects of the 'hood, glorified it with out any realistic way of addressing the issues, and instead just shrugging its shoulders and saying "that's how it is."

I'm glad that hip hop culture is changing to the point where we don't see this huge gauntlet of credibility that rappers must pass through as much anymore. Rappers can be a little preppy and don't have to have grown up in the projects and have been shot 9 times.

The past is the past, let's look ahead now for our future and the next generation's future. I want to see an end to the violence and apathy I see in the inner city. I want to see more minorities involved in science and technology and philosophy. I want to see more minorities graduating school and getting regular jobs. I want to see an end to the gang culture that permeates through minority males all over the country. I want to see peace, prosperity and positivity. I want an end to the culture of ignorance.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

On Gay Marriage

Well, for those of you who read my blog about regular marriage, I just thought about gay marriage. I have nothing against it if they want to be married. I know that the argument against it is largely coming from religion in the old testament where God mentions his disdain for fags. Well like I've said before, if your going to take it literal then why aren't the christians taking the burning or adulterers literal or the stoning of girls who had sex before marriage? Why? Because christians are some of the biggest hippocrates in the word that's why.

Now if your against gay marriage for other reasons like the Qu'ran or Torrah you fall into the same category as the chrstians. If you're against gay marriage for other personal reasons like you think that it is scientifically unnatural, then we can talk because animals do engage in gay sex, and gay people are born gay, that is the definition of natural. They aren't created in a laboratory. That would be unnatural. If being gay was indeed a choice I'd be totally against gay marriage, but it is not and it is natural. Here is my definition of what marriage should be in terms of the parties involved: Marriage should be between two consenting adults, period. No animals, no groups of 3, 4, or 5 or more, just two consenting adults.

Marriage

I do have some radical views on marriage. I'm kind of against it, but I have no problem with other people doing it. I just don't like the pressure society puts you under for not being married after a certain age. I'm in my late 20s and I definitely feel the pressure to get married. In a way I kind of want to, but I really don't think any marriage will work out for me. Number one, I'm crazy, I have extreme views and I have trouble finding girls as intellectual as I am. Most girls aren't into science, politics and religion.

The way I feel about marriage is this analogy: We've all had deep arguments with the people in our lives, our friends, parents, coworkers etc. Now imagine yourself at that point when you were in the middle of a ferocious argument with that person and someone ran up to you and asked you to sign a contract to promise to hate this person for ever and ever. You would think that's ridiculous because you know that you will eventually not be as angry with that person after some time has passed. I see marriage as being that ridiculous. Asking me to sign a life long legally binding contract based on an emotion like hate, or love I think is ridiculous. Love and hate are emotions that are are temporary and wane with time. Marriage is til death do you part.

I mean I do believe in love and being faithful to one person, but I don't like the idea of expecting it to last forever. I like the middle ground between being with one person forever and ever and being a player. It's hard to explain like a lot of stuff is.

Insomnia again

I'm up all night again. I was tired around 11pm and I was about to fall asleep, but then I remembered I hadn't brushed my teeth and I can't go to sleep with a dirty mouth. So I go up and brushed my teeth but then I couldn't fall back asleep. There is something about the bathroom and brushing my teeth or washing my face that wakes me up. So now it's 3 am and I'm still up. I just wish I had a normal sleep pattern. I got 2 hours of sleep last night and I was so tired all day, I wished I slept at 11pm, I should've brushed my teeth earlier so that when I got tired I;d be ready.

P.S. The "L" button on my keyboard is starting to fuck up and
I have to hit it really hard to work. This sucks.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Why I hate social networking sites

OK, you got me, social networking sites are a great way for people to connect right? I mean how else can you keep track of all your friends from elementary school that might have moved away across the country? How else would they be connected to you on a single software platform? Remember the days of AOL? Not everyone had it and you couldn't add everyone you ever met. Them came friendster and myspace and facebook, a web based, third party platform that everyone could go on too and connect with others. And indeed just about everyone did (well not for friendster).

I was into myspace early on but then didn't like it. I don't like the idea of everyone I've ever met being able to contact me. I guess I like privacy. I don't want everyone to know everyone I know, or even certain friends from knowing everyone I know. I don't want everyone i know from having access to me. I like to disappear from time to time from certain people or from all the people I know. I don't want them to know what I'm doing or who I am doing it with. I don't want them to even have a clue, such as a remark made by someone on my wall or someone else's. I don't like that fact that rumors can spread fast on social networking sites. I don't like how girls you date can be checking up on you, and how almost all of your business can be out on display.

Of coarse for the attention seeker social networking gets you out there like no other media can. You can be exposed to so thousands, millions who you'd never get a chance to, if it weren't for the digital media. Some people live for attention. We've all had fantasies of being famous. I myself enjoy privacy a little more. It's interesting how social networking sites allow you to control the way people see you.In a sense they allow you to create your reputation. If you want to portray yourself as a party monster all you have to do is show pictures of yourself getting wasted numerous times. If you want to appear intellectual you write about your favorite authors or philosophers along with there associated media. In a way you can control how others see you, especially to those who don't see you in person often.

It seems as if facebook is winning the popularity contest. It has over 300 million members and has given myspace a run for its money. It has a more simple format and a chat program. It doesn't allow users to customize the background and force youto listen to music in it. It did seem as if myspace became a way for people to advertise their music or companies. The criticism of myspace was that people's profiles became way to bloated with fliers and graphics and music. Facebook cleaned it up with a simple white background. And the masses went to facebook.

I have to admit that it is interesting to see people's profiles and what they write and who they are friends with. A person can spend hours and hours on facebook, and that's precisely what I hate it so much. It has become the conduit for which all social interaction takes place. I've lived with people who were on facebook or myspace almost every hour that they were online. It takes up so much of people's time that they lose touch with real social human interaction. Like I said before I see the benefits of social networking sites, but I don't take part in them because they can become addictive and result in a deficit of real interaction, I don't like people knowing who I know or what I say to those people I know, and mostly, I don't like people from my past being able to track me down and obtain information on me. This blog is anonymous. All you know about me is my name and maybe where I live. You know a great deal about my thoughts on a number of topics but not my identity. And that's the way I like it.

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