With the nation in the middle of the often loud and angry health care debate, I have a few words about us Americans. We are fat, and we are the laughing stock of the world. People starve to death in some countries around the world, and our problem is that we have too much food. It's so funny when you really think about it. The problem is this: are fat people driving up health care costs? I believe they are, but they are clearly not the only problem. Smokers too drive up health care costs, as do people with other unhealthy lifestyles. I have a proposal, it's what I call a "fat Tax" on those people who I like to call 'gravitationally challenged."
I conjured up this this idea for the New York City subway, after one day not too long ago when I wanted a seat on the train and a "gravitationally challenged" person was taking up two seats, instead of the usual one and a half. I think that since "gravitationally challenged" people take up more space, it is only fair that they should pay more money to ride the train. Basically, we should pay for space.
It would work like this, to ride the subway you'd pay a penny for every pound you weigh. You weigh 250 lbs, you pay $2.50, you weigh 130 lbs, you pay $1.30. We'd all have to carry a new metrocard, and with this we'd swipe the machine and right before we walk through the turnstile, we'd have to step on a scale embedded into the ground that would digitally calculate our weight, including everything we carry. The fare would be calculated at 1 penny per pound, and that would be the price we are charged to enter the subway. So yes "gravitationally challenged" people would pay more. However, this system would encourage people to loose weight and live healthy, since they wouldn't want to have to pay more money. I think it's an ingenious idea, and most of us would actually be paying less than we pay now, including me. I feel this proposal is necessary because "gravitationally challenged" people do indeed take up a lot more space in areas where space isn't abundant, like the subway, and that means a lot less space for those of us who are not "gravitationally challenged."
I think my proposal is reasonable, fair and balanced, and I'm usually right.